This short little video above is about life, but instead, it really made me think about death. As a young child I had an abnormal fear of death. I remember several occasions when I was very young, laying awake at night in a layer of sweat worrying about dying. These episodes subsided as I grew up because like most people, I became quite adapt at shutting out topics I didn’t want to think about.
As the years have past, I am not sure if I have done well avoiding the topic or if it is simply something most of us think about but rarely talk about. Each decade of my life that passes, I seem to think about it more. It’s there looming of course, and becoming ever more a clearer reality.
OK, I really am not wanting to write some depressing post…no, seriously! In fact, this post is about letting go of the fear of death and the fear of LIFE. In the video, there is a line, “The fear of death is completely obsurd because if you’re dead you got nothing to worry about, so you’ll be alright.” It sounds stupid simple but it makes a good point. When I really stop and think about it, I am more afraid of being in pain and/or suffering than not existing on this planet. The whole non-existing thing well, depending on your beliefs, it just might be the most amazing thing ever.
I am grateful that I no longer have mini panic attacks over dying. Maybe it comes with maturity, maybe it comes with being less fearful in life, or maybe it just comes when you’re plain worn out from life. I am grateful for the fact that the older I get, the more I let go of fear, the more I want to do whatever the hell I want to do! Amen to Bucket Lists! I wish to God that I would have felt this way 20 years ago, but…no regrets. Perhaps, this is exactly what I came here to experience. Whatever the reason for my transformation, I now fear not living more than I fear death.
What is important is only this very moment. What are you going to do with this very moment? Life isn’t about the drama, the temporary problems, or even that traffic jam that we overreact to (You know who you are!!). Life is about that feeling you get when your child gives you the biggest hug for no reason, it’s about walking barefoot in the grass, it’s about making someone’s day, and it’s about whatever makes you STOP and feel…hear…smell…or taste.
It’s so easy to romanticize, but it really does come down to a choice. Your choice. It’s not about “If that didn’t,” or “When that happens.” It’s about right now, changing your focus, changing your perspective and letting go of the security blanket that is really having the opposite effect. Sure, we all get down, make excuses ad nauseum, have bad days, or have bad things happen, but the difference is how long we stay in that bad place. It’s like my writing right now, the longer I am “too busy” to write, the harder it is to get back to what I love.