chey being

For my untempered heart


Who are you living for?

Look Up

The above link is to a YouTube video that I really want to share with those that have not already seen it.  It’s about social media and how there’s really nothing social about it.  It’s quick and painless and worth every second!

My teenage son is normally quite the homebody and pretty shy.  He tells me he is bored a lot, which I find frustrating.  I wish I could say I was bored that often!  (Actually, not really, I would go insane.)  I have been telling him for some time now that he needs to find some hobbies (other than surfing the internet for stuff to buy) and get a job for when school ends.  Lately, and sort-of all-of-a-sudden, he has been pretty busy and away from home.  I asked him what was going on, wondering what had spurred him into action.  He showed me this video.  Apparently, it made an impact.

I would have to say it made an impact on me too.  When I was away in the mountains for 10 days recently, I did not have service most of that time.  It was liberating.  It felt so good because I did not feel obligated.  I didn’t feel the pressure to maintain an appearance, so to speak, but I worried about it and that bothered me.  I struggled between the feelings of the world revolving without me, and enjoying complete freedom from technology.

After I thought about how I wanted this knowledge to impact me, I determined that I need to write for myself and hopefully, make an impact on others.  I need to always keep my focus on these goals and not worry about how many comments, how many followers and how many likes.  It is easy to get sucked into.  I admit that I feel anxious in the morning to check my WP account and see if the little box in the upper right-hand corner is the color orange.  I feel happy when it is, and kind of disappointed if it isn’t.  I don’t want to feel that way.  Yes, I want to feel like what I am writing is making an impact but I don’t want to “worry” about it.  I want to send it out with love…and leave the rest to the universe.  I want to find the happy balance between growing my audience (I do want to write a book one day and so someone has to find me!), and doing what I love without pressure or spending an excessive amount of time at this bloody computer!  I want to find the sweet spot.  That is my goal…that is my mission.  If my teenage son is smart enough to figure this out, than I have NO EXCUSES!




This was my thought process the other day when I signed up for Facebook.  Maybe you’ll get a chuckle.

Is my fear of Facebook natural?  Some people have a paralyzing fear of flying and crashing to the ground; well, my fear of Facebook is pretty close.  As some of you may know, I just started my blog and joined Twitter this year.  These were reeeeally BIG steps for me.  To throw myself out there publicly was not easy.  I still struggle with my fears.  What are my fears?  I’m sharing many private details of my past in hopes of helping others, but I do not want my family involved.  I have children of Google age!   I also fear being judged by those close to me.  I’ve been there, done that, wish not to repeat.

I tend to be very distrusting of people, which further fuels my paranoia.  Admittedly, I often imagine the worst in people until proven otherwise.  Either my expectations are too high or I’ve been around  a lot of losers.  I think it’s the first one.  Not to mention, I am getting tired of everyone asking me if I am on Facebook (Related post here).  Can we not come up with better questions to propagate future communication?  For example, “I’ll call you!”  Or, let’s get really hi-tech, “I’ll text you and we’ll meet for lunch next week.”   I feel like a two year old, stamping their little feet because they don’t want to do something.  It is ridiculous.  I’m actually sweating right now with the thought of signing up.  Now, I’m laughing at myself.  Screw it!  I’ll be right back.

Ok, instead of the two year old throwing a temper tantrum, I am now the awkward teenager succumbing to peer pressure.  Obviously, I have some issues to deal with.  I feel defeated.  I feel invaded.  Do I now ask you to follow me on Facebook?  This is so dumb.



Photo Courtesy of Flickr