chey being

For my untempered heart


Information overload?

Daily Prompt:  “Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.” — Gertrude Stein
Do you agree?

I think how one defines common sense will help determine a yes or no answer to this question.  Common sense could be what we have all been trained to think is common sense; therefore, what are we really losing that’s authentic to ourselves?  More information would just be adding to the pile that has already determined our common sense.  Is it common sense to quit the job you hate, but supplies a steady, secure income, to move to Key West and open your own food truck?  That would be nuts, right?  I don’t think so;  I would root for taking the chance on doing something someone loved any day.

The question also implies that too much information is bad.  I do agree that too much info can cause one to feel overloaded or overwhelmed, but ultimately, the more informed we are, the more educated human beings we are.  The trick is to truly know yourself so that one can quickly weed through the garbage and find what is or is not important.

The world is at our fingertips and will only continue to be more and more.  We have more choices because of the information out there.  We can choose to access that information or not.  No one is making us turn on that TV, or look at our phone every twenty seconds.  It can be somewhat of a test of will power.  A test that will determine, “What is important to me?”

My answer obviously would be no, I do not agree.  What I do agree with is that at some point this country will turn its focus onto how to manage all this information by creating balance.  We are a society buzzing with intensity of motion, someday our buzzers will grow weary.







Who are you living for?

Look Up

The above link is to a YouTube video that I really want to share with those that have not already seen it.  It’s about social media and how there’s really nothing social about it.  It’s quick and painless and worth every second!

My teenage son is normally quite the homebody and pretty shy.  He tells me he is bored a lot, which I find frustrating.  I wish I could say I was bored that often!  (Actually, not really, I would go insane.)  I have been telling him for some time now that he needs to find some hobbies (other than surfing the internet for stuff to buy) and get a job for when school ends.  Lately, and sort-of all-of-a-sudden, he has been pretty busy and away from home.  I asked him what was going on, wondering what had spurred him into action.  He showed me this video.  Apparently, it made an impact.

I would have to say it made an impact on me too.  When I was away in the mountains for 10 days recently, I did not have service most of that time.  It was liberating.  It felt so good because I did not feel obligated.  I didn’t feel the pressure to maintain an appearance, so to speak, but I worried about it and that bothered me.  I struggled between the feelings of the world revolving without me, and enjoying complete freedom from technology.

After I thought about how I wanted this knowledge to impact me, I determined that I need to write for myself and hopefully, make an impact on others.  I need to always keep my focus on these goals and not worry about how many comments, how many followers and how many likes.  It is easy to get sucked into.  I admit that I feel anxious in the morning to check my WP account and see if the little box in the upper right-hand corner is the color orange.  I feel happy when it is, and kind of disappointed if it isn’t.  I don’t want to feel that way.  Yes, I want to feel like what I am writing is making an impact but I don’t want to “worry” about it.  I want to send it out with love…and leave the rest to the universe.  I want to find the happy balance between growing my audience (I do want to write a book one day and so someone has to find me!), and doing what I love without pressure or spending an excessive amount of time at this bloody computer!  I want to find the sweet spot.  That is my goal…that is my mission.  If my teenage son is smart enough to figure this out, than I have NO EXCUSES!



This was my thought process the other day when I signed up for Facebook.  Maybe you’ll get a chuckle.

Is my fear of Facebook natural?  Some people have a paralyzing fear of flying and crashing to the ground; well, my fear of Facebook is pretty close.  As some of you may know, I just started my blog and joined Twitter this year.  These were reeeeally BIG steps for me.  To throw myself out there publicly was not easy.  I still struggle with my fears.  What are my fears?  I’m sharing many private details of my past in hopes of helping others, but I do not want my family involved.  I have children of Google age!   I also fear being judged by those close to me.  I’ve been there, done that, wish not to repeat.

I tend to be very distrusting of people, which further fuels my paranoia.  Admittedly, I often imagine the worst in people until proven otherwise.  Either my expectations are too high or I’ve been around  a lot of losers.  I think it’s the first one.  Not to mention, I am getting tired of everyone asking me if I am on Facebook (Related post here).  Can we not come up with better questions to propagate future communication?  For example, “I’ll call you!”  Or, let’s get really hi-tech, “I’ll text you and we’ll meet for lunch next week.”   I feel like a two year old, stamping their little feet because they don’t want to do something.  It is ridiculous.  I’m actually sweating right now with the thought of signing up.  Now, I’m laughing at myself.  Screw it!  I’ll be right back.

Ok, instead of the two year old throwing a temper tantrum, I am now the awkward teenager succumbing to peer pressure.  Obviously, I have some issues to deal with.  I feel defeated.  I feel invaded.  Do I now ask you to follow me on Facebook?  This is so dumb.



Photo Courtesy of Flickr


May I have your attention, please?

Hello all you beautiful people!

As some of you may know, I joined WP’s Blogging 201 a week ago (One more week to go!).  It has been really awesome and really difficult, all at the same time.  I am learning so much!  It has given me the much needed push into social media and in that regard, let’s just pretend this OMG is in like, 72 Font Size.  That is why I have been a bit absent as well.  I’ve also been making changes to the look of my blog (it’s so purdy!) and I have gone through a few name changes, settling on Chey Being, as you may have noticed.

Anyway, I would like to throw out my Twitter and Facebook links to anyone interested.  If you are, that’s cool.  If not, I’ll still think you’re pretty cool 😉  Thanks so much for you’re support.  I couldn’t ask for a better bunch of invisible friends!




Sharing my blog goals. Are you in?

Today is the first day of Blogging 201.  This will expand over the next two weeks; therefore, my posts will likely be solely related to the assignments.  If you did not join the group, perhaps you can tag along with me!  Our task is to layout three goals for our blog.  This part I find easy.  The part I find more difficult is that we are to be specific…like, include numbers and percentages!  Oh my!  With that aside, I am very happy to share this information with my followers, as many of you have been so kind and supportive of my journey thus far.  I think it is a wonderful idea to let you know a bit more about myself and my purpose here.  Thanks for joining me.

1.  My purpose from the beginning was to tell my story.  Why?  What makes me so special?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  I am no more special than anyone else to be honest, I just happen to be writing it down for all to see.  I enjoy writing and I think I’m pretty good at it, at times.  I do have a tale to tell that I think is interesting, but more importantly, I think it could be helpful.  My ultimate purpose in telling my story is to help others in the same situation.  Help others who have had/or are having affairs.  Help others going through divorce.  Help others who are debating divorce.  I also enjoy writing about other topics (i.e. raising children) that are thought provoking and can bring about positive changes in our lives.  To share my story and related bits, my first goal is to post 1-2 times per week.

2.  Now, if I want to help people, I need to reach them.  This will actually consist of a few goals.  I would like to double my followers on WP and Twitter by the end of June.  I would also like to add another avenue of social media such as, Facebook, Google +, or Instagram.  I am hoping to learn more about social media and its usefulness during this course.  Hopefully, it will also help me decide which one of these to pursue.  I would like to have this new media up and running by the end of May.  Lastly, I want to spend about 20 minutes, two to three times per week reading and commenting on other blogs.  I think this will help grow my following as well, plus I enjoy it!

3.  Lastly, my goal is to earn a book contract.  I have dreamed of writing a book for many years and finally, I am attempting that dream.  If it happens, fantastic.  If not, well, at least I finally tried.  I know I have reached some people and I can say I enjoyed the ride.  It would be wonderful to earn a living writing and helping others.  I honestly see myself traveling and talking in front of a large groups of people someday.  That is where I want to be within the next two years.  Lofty goal, I know, but anything is possible and I am definitely not getting any younger!  To earn such an honor, I would also like to continue with the weekly DP Challenges.  I feel these help me grow and expand as a writer.  They are super fun, too!  It is a nice break to write about other topics for a change.  Reading and engaging with the many people that I follow also helps me grow as a writer and provides some great ideas.  They are writing so many beautiful things, it is hard to keep up, but I am trying!

Can I add a #4?  Well, I am a rebel at heart and have been accused of being an over-achiever more than once.  My #4 is that I would like to change the name of my blog.  It is boring and meaningless.  Problem is, I don’t know what to change it to!  I want to be a writer and I can’t come up with a name?!?  That’s kind of sad!  So my last and final goal is to come up with a kick-ass blog name by the end of April.  Wish me luck!


My decent…

I am what I like to call an AOL casualty.  Back in 1997, I was introduced to AOL and its dangerously addictive Instant Messaging and Chat Rooms.  This new and exciting phenomenon was like a drug put in front of our faces.  I partook of it like so many others.  There were no warning labels, it was too new; we could not predict the problems it would cause.  It was to dramatically change the course of my life for over a decade.

I had just finished three years of either being pregnant or nursing.  I was needing to have my body back and a sense of me back.  It wasn’t enough to have a loving husband who complimented me all the time.  He always complicated me when I looked my worst.  As nice as it was, how could I trust that?  In under two years I had three babies (Don’t do the math, I had twins!) and I was knee deep in baby puke.  Yes, they are the most perfect creatures I could ever dream of and I would gladly throw myself in front of a train for them, but this was a challenge I was not prepared for.  My life became so much a haze of repetitiveness that I dreaded going to sleep at night.  I knew I would wake up only to do the same thing over and over again.

From the moment I created that AOL screen name, I was hooked.  It was like VIP access to the hottest club. To try and put myself into the headspace of this time period is very difficult as I feel I no longer know this person.  I remember discovering the chat rooms (Do they even still exist?).  I am such a paranoid person that it is hard to imagine I put myself in a place of anonymous creepers (no offense).  I suppose the fact that we were anonymous gave us all a place to be who ever we wanted to be; a safe haven to explore our dark sides.  It was all very exciting to someone so inexperienced in life, love and sex.  I had married my high school sweetheart…not much more to say there.

I should have seen the warning sign when a woman I had befriended IM’d me.  She asked if someone in particular was communicating with me.  Apparently, her and  BigJohn10 (insert eye roll) or something or other, had been communicating for some time and now, he had suddenly cut her off.  She seemed very distraught over the whole thing.  Eventually, I came to find out that she was seeing someone else she met online and her life was in complete turmoil.  Of course, I ignored this sign.

Then one fateful evening, as I was hanging out in a “married” chat room, someone IM’d me.  Let’s call him James, to protect the not-so-innocent and because I like the name.  James came into my life like an unstoppable force that left me weak-kneed and senseless.  Even though we had a four hour time difference, we chatted intensely online every evening.  It brought excitement to my day.  It gave me energy to live with a passion that had long been sucked out of me.  I had met someone who was so very different than me, yet the same. Someone who could match me, mental punch for punch and someone who could teach me.

So there I became Mommy by day, Adulteress On Line by night.  I thought I had long forgiven myself for this part of my life, but putting it into words and out into the universe makes me feel ashamed and embarrassed.  I honestly don’t know this person anymore.  Well, from the beginning, here in this space, I promised to be open and honest. So this is me.  Perfectly not perfect.

Up next:  A secret life.


Social Media Freak-Out

Within the last month or two, I have started a blog and opened a Twitter account.  This is pretty major for me.  I own internet companies, I’ve developed websites, I’ve tackled the impossible Google advertising, etc, etc, but…I have somehow managed to avoid the beast of social media.  I recently quit my job (I worked for myself) and hired someone else to replace me because I wanted to get AWAY from the computer.  AWAY from the isolation of sitting at home ALONE.  Since then, I have pursued writing (duh) and becoming a certified Pilates instructor (LOVE Pilates).  I also want to pursue selling some of my art online.  I have been told to join Facebook,  Esty, and Pinterest.  Like, I have to, they say.  I’ve been told this so many times throughout the years.  Where do people find the time for this stuff?  I’m too busy living life, spending time with my children, cooking healthy dinners, working, exercising, reading, ya know, all that old school stuff.  I’m trying to get away from the computer but they keep sucking me back in (think Godfather, Al Pacino).

I need to find the happy medium.  I need to believe that in order for a business to do well or a person to be heard, that they don’t need to be on every social media site.  I HAVE to believe this because I do not want to work that hard…in front of a machine…by myself.  If I am going to work, I want it to be doing something I love. Don’t get me wrong, I love the internet and I look at my cell phone way too much, but at some point, I have to draw the line and not be peer pressured into every avenue of social media.  Let’s be social at lunch.  Let’s be social at the gym. Look me in the eye and tell me about your day.  I want to LIVE my life. Not spend it in front of a computer trying desperately to rack up numbers.  Maybe this is the new way of the world.  Maybe this is my version of the little old lady that refuses to use those “blasted cell phones!”  Maybe I am stuck in the past. But hey, vintage is always in.