I am currently reading Deepak Chopra’s, “The Book of Secrets.” This excerpt stuck out to me today:
Pitfalls of the Seeker:
1. Knowing where you are going.
2. Struggling to get there.
3. Using someone else’s map.
4. Working to improve yourself.
5. Setting a time table.
6. Waiting for a miracle.
This is exactly where I have been lately, in a state of letting go, aka surrendering. Which is probably why this resonated with me so much, but I just didn’t realize how important it was. I did not even realize the shift that has occurred within me until I read these words. I have read many “spiritual” books and have never heard this message put quite like this before. So, I am feeling the need to break it down; here we go…
1. Knowing where you are going.
First reaction, I laughed. Well…check mark for me because I have no clue where I am going! Second, Holy Shit! I’m OK with that! Usually, I am the one with the plan. I always know where I am going and what I am doing. And if I don’t, I am really stressed out and will find any ole distraction to fill in the space until I feel empty inside again and start the whole vicious cycle over. I was in shock at the realization that I have been allowing myself to simply be…guided. Ahhh…what a relief it has been.
2. Struggling to get there.
My whole life I have had a deep seeded knowing that life is not meant to be a struggle. Hard work sometimes, yes, but not a struggle. Any time someone has told me, “Oh, that would be too hard,” or “That never happens,” I have felt the lie in those words. It will be whatever I believe it to be. We have the power to make things happen. We have the incredible imagination to bring things to life. We must allow the space for that to happen and most importantly, not be handcuffed to the outcome for it may not be exactly as we had expected, but it will be what we need. It will be for the greater good of ourselves and others. And in that is the lesson. The lesson we need to move forward and grow. If you believe life is a struggle, than that will be your life.
3. Using someone else’s map.
This means a few things to me. A.) We don’t even try because someone else failed or told us not to do something because they knew a guy who knew a guy, who said it was really hard. Yes…this happens all the time but they never fail to tell us that they really don’t know these people or if it is even true! It’s just a belief they picked up somewhere and have so graciously passed it on to you. B.) We do what out parents think we should do. They not-so-gently persuade us into a life they think is best for us or a life they wish they had created themselves but didn’t. Thankful my parents didn’t care much for what I did do, but they sure had a whole basket full of ideas about what I couldn’t do.
4. Working to improve yourself.
This one seems more a play on words to me. We are always trying to become a better version of ourselves, are we not? I think the meaning here is that we must first accept ourselves as we are, in all our imperfections and we must continually do so. Each time we fail or stumble, we must accept ourselves and not judge the experience. I read somewhere recently that if you want to lose weight, you must first accept and love yourself where you are, not wait to love yourself when you achieve your goal weight. This is what this means to me. To be honest, I am not really where I want to be. I hope to achieve so much more, but I am happy where I am right now and I am excited for the future. That is a big step for me, for I am usually fearful of the future because it is unknown (I have recently learned the insanity in being afraid of an outcome that hasn’t even happened!).
5. Setting a time table.
Who needs that kind of pressure? No thank you very much! Maybe this makes me happy because it makes me feel off the hook as I progress into my forties and think on occasion, “What the hell have I done with my life?” But really, I think it just reiterates all of the above, that we must let go of outcomes. I think it is good to have goals and dreams, but I think it is then also good to release them. Maybe there is even something greater than we could ever imagine in store for us and I don’t want to miss out on that!
6. Waiting for a miracle.
To me this means, ignoring what is already in front of you. There are miracles all around but we miss them. We discount them. We belittle them. And then we say we never receive them or that we are unlucky. Miracles come in all shapes and sizes and this something I am learning every day. I simple reminder will pop in my head just when I need it, and I will recognize and give thanks for it. I somehow avoid a major car accident and I give thanks for it. These are miracles. This is something, someone watching out for me. I’m not waiting but I will tell you, I am expecting because I believe, I listen, and I watch more and more every day.
So what does this list mean to me? Surrender. How am I surrendering at this very moment? Well, normally I would re-read a post about 20 times before publishing. Worrying about type-o’s, writing something stupid, and maybe even offending someone. Maybe even censoring myself in a way. Well, I am not doing that today…me the perfectionist…is being not-so-perfect and I am really perfectly happy with that.
